What Pressure Reveals About Our Leadership Relationships

Pressure has always been part of clubs and hospitality, and I don’t think anyone in this industry needs to be reminded of that. Busy periods, short staffing, competing priorities, expectations coming from every direction - it’s the environment most leaders are operating in day after day, not something that shows up occasionally.

What tends to change under pressure, though, is not people’s work ethic or commitment, but the way they relate to one another.

Conversations get shorter, patience wears thin, and leaders and teams often slip into survival mode without really noticing it happening. Relationships, particularly between leaders and their teams, are usually the first thing to feel the strain. Not because anyone intends for that to happen, but because pressure narrows focus and reduces the space people have to communicate well.

When things start to feel strained, the explanation is often quick and familiar. “They can’t handle the pressure.” I’ve heard it countless times, and I’ve never found it particularly helpful.

Pressure doesn’t suddenly make people bad leaders. More often, it highlights where relationships haven’t been strong enough to hold when things get difficult. When trust is already fragile, pressure creates distance. When communication hasn’t been prioritised, pressure creates silence. And when relationships haven’t been actively maintained, pressure often shows up as control rather than connection.

Under pressure, people tend to fall back on what feels safest to them. For some leaders, that looks like micromanaging because it feels like the only way to keep standards intact. For others, it’s avoiding conversations they don’t feel equipped to have. And for many middle managers, it means quietly carrying the weight themselves, trying to protect relationships by not saying anything at all.

Not because they don’t care, and not because they’re not capable, but because leading people through pressure is very different to simply getting work done under pressure - and that distinction is rarely made explicit.

This week on The Michelle Pascoe Hospitality Podcast, I spoke with Kimberley Malcolm , and one of the strongest themes in our conversation was the role relationships play in leadership, particularly when conditions are demanding. What really stayed with me was the reminder that pressure doesn’t remove the need for connection; if anything, it makes it more important. Leaders who continue to communicate, listen, and check in under pressure tend to create a steadiness that teams can lean into, even when things aren’t ideal.

It’s taking the time to explain what matters most rather than barking instructions, addressing issues early without letting frustration take over, and holding standards while still treating people with respect. These are relationship skills, not personality traits, and they have to be built long before pressure tests them.

When leaders invest in relationships early, teams tend to hold together better when things get tough. Conversations don’t disappear, trust doesn’t evaporate, and accountability doesn’t start to feel personal or punitive. That’s also why leadership development can’t be reactive. You don’t suddenly learn how to maintain trust, connection, and credibility when everything feels urgent; those skills are built over time, through everyday leadership moments that often go unnoticed when things are calm.

This is a big part of the work we do through Middle Management Movement, supporting leaders to strengthen communication, confidence, and relationships before pressure puts them under strain, rather than trying to repair them afterwards.

So as we close the week, here’s the question I’d really encourage you to sit with: when pressure rises in your organisation, do your leadership relationships hold, or do they start to fray?

Because pressure will always be part of this industry. What makes the difference is whether the relationships around it are strong enough to carry the load.